The biological “master switch” or "joy switch" that manages how we respond is the relational circuit.
Our brains are designed to be in relationships. Engaging the brain’s “master switch,” or relational circuits, puts us in the ideal position to learn and practice relational skills. Just as turning on a light switch brings clarity to what we can see in a room, having our relational circuits (RC’s) on allows us to see the relationship with the person in front of us as more important than the problems around us.
What it looks like to have my RC’s ON :
- My relationships are bigger than my problems.
- My cravings are tamed.
- My relationships are more important to me than
being “right” or getting my way. - I am glad to be with those around me.
- I am curious about what they are thinking and/or feeling.
- I remember good things and smile.
What it looks like to have my RC’s OFF:
- I just want to make a problem, person, or feeling
go away. - I don’t want to listen to what others feel or say.
- My mind is “locked onto” something upsetting.
- I don’t want to be connected to someone I usually like.
- I just want to get away, fight, or freeze.
- I more aggressively interrogate and judge others.
Grow the Skill!
While we believe all 19 of the relational skills are vital, here are 5 foundational ones that are a starting point for the remaining 14 to grow from.
